The journalist Rosemary Mac Cabe’s first book This Is Not About You appears – at least at first glance – to want to have it both ways because whilst the title addresses the men she has dated, warning them this book is not about them, the subtitle describes the book as “a menmoir”. I have a feeling that Mac Cabe would not argue with the idea that she wants things both ways or at least that she wants to live on her own terms as this memoir seems to be a reaction to having pandered to other people for far too long. She writes with appealing candour – which is perhaps why the book is dedicated “To my mum, who will hate this”.
Aside from a ‘Preface’ and ‘Epilogue’, there is only one other chapter, entitled ‘Beginnings’, which does not have the name of a man. All the other chapters, from ‘Henry’ to ‘Brandin’, are named after the man she happened to be dating at the time. This is far from a rose-tinted view of romance – she describes losing her virginity as “a little like the time I’d had a verruca frozen off in the doctor’s surgery: uncomfortable, but I had entered into this willingly.” It is notable that even the first time she had sex she lied about enjoying it, as she says it was important to her not to hurt a man’s feelings.
